Chapter 2 - The Voice of the Bride

Before leaving for Bible College I called together the men who worked with me in the garage. Whenever I had chided them for swearing they had always said, “It’s impossible for us to do our work properly unless we swear!”

A crane was standing in the center of the shop which extended up into the roof. “This is probably the last time I’ll have a chance to talk to you,” I told them, “arid I want to leave something behind for you.” With that remark I climbed up the crane, carrying the greasy old hat that I wore when I worked underneath the cars. Right before their eyes I nailed this hat to the ceiling. “Now,” I said, “let this hat be a witness to you that someone worked in this garage who could do his work without swearing, and who lived for the Lord Jesus Christ right in these circumstances.”

Two years later I was back in Kuruman briefly, visited the garage and saw that my hat was still there. Some of the men remembered its’ meaning so that every time they happened to look tip, it witnessed to them. But some of the workers were new, so I explained to them the meaning of the hat. When I returned after another five years I discovered that a latticed ceiling ha d been put in, so that although the hat was no longer accessible it was still clearly visible, testifying for the Lord. Twenty years later during a furlough, after a meeting in Kuruman one of the persons working in the garage came up to me and told me that my hat was still there! Although the garage had changed hands twice, the present owner had instructed the workmen not to touch the hat, as it had a special meaning.

I had saved enough money to pay for my first two terms at Glenvar Bible College, an interdenominational school in Capetown, but when summer vacation came I had to make a choice. Should I go out with a gospel team for evangelism, or should I earn a salary at a big firm which had offered me a job, to help pay my expenses for the next year at school? It was a tremendous choice and I didn’t know how to decide.

It was still extremely difficult for me to face people. Once during that first year I had been asked to preach in a cottage meeting. I spent hours in preparing, made copious notes and rehearsed them carefully. When the time came to speak I began my sermon, but in about five minutes had run out of material and had to sit down. Everyone in the room seemed to be staring at me! I sat there, blushing and confused, wondering what had happened to everything I had so carefully prepared. Fortunately, the person who Rd the meeting knew how to improvise and somehow managed to fill the remaining time.

This dread of people was still in my nature. Only my faith in the power of the Holy Spirit made it possible for me to consider talking to people at all. Now as I pondered the unpleasant prospect of a whole summer of facing audiences, and of my need for funds for the next term, I thought to myself, I’d better take this job. If I don’t, I might not have enough money to enter school again.

I worked very hard all through vacation and returned to school worn out, but at least I had enough money to pay for the term. A letter was waiting for me there from some very close friends in Kuruman, and I opened it eagerly, homesick for them. To my amazement, along with the letter, they had enclosed some money–exactly the amount I needed for the entire term’s expenses!

This brought me to my knees! The Lord helped me to understand clearly that I had made a big mistake at the beginning of this vacation. I should have had faith to go out serving Him as a member of the gospel team rather than being so concerned about my financial needs. I realized then that I was separated by God for the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and that I must not waste time again working for money–GOD would take care of that. This was the first lesson of faith that the Lord taught me in that 501a college, and I never forgot it.

“If it is Your will, Lord,” I promised, “from now on I will always trust you to supply whatever is necessary, rather than trying to do everything I can to get it for myself.”

Some severe testings of faith awaited me during that second year in school. Once I didn’t even have a decent shirt to wear and I prayed earnestly about it. “My shirt is in shreds, Lord. I can’t go out like this! You know I don’t have any money to buy another one. Please give me a shirt.”

A knock came an my door. One of the students who had married recently stood there with a shirt in his hand. “It may be an insult to offer this to you,” he said, “but it’s a good shirt, and it really is too small for me.” He had bought the shirt for his wedding, but when he discovered it was too small he had worn it only that one time. I tried it on. It fitted as if it had been especially made for me.

One day I had to go on a trip, desperately needed fifteen dollars to pay for my ticket and prayed for this amount all week. By Monday morning I had received nothing toward my ticket, though I had to leave that night. Later that morning a letter came from my aunt.

“The Lord woke me up in the middle of the night,” she wrote, “and told me to write out a check of fifteen dollars for you. I said, ‘All right, Lord, I’ll write it tomorrow first thing.’ but the Lord wouldn’t let me sleep until I got up and wrote this check and mailed it to you. Do you need money? Do you need this particular amount? I felt so definitely that the Lord did not want me to rest until I had sent it to you.”

Thus I learned during those days to trust God for small amounts. I was tremendously encouraged to see His Hand at work literally answering prayer, often sending the exact amount just at the time it was needed.

but trusting God for the great expense of going to Japan when I finished school required a much bigger step of faith. “Lord,” I prayed, “You know I don’t have any money. If You really want me to go to Japan You’ll have to give me the funds to go.” And then unexpectedly the Lord supplied the funds, though not in the happiest way. My father suddenly died and I inherited enough money to buy my equipment and pay for my passage.

Before I left South Africa a lady came to me one day after a meeting and said, “I have no money, but I’m impressed with what you’re going to do in Japan. I have a piece of gold that I want you to take with you.”

She handed me a gold piece molded in the form of Africa, and said. “Now I want you to make one promise. If you are ever hungry and in desperate need of food, I want you to sell this gold.”

I promised. Soon I sailed for Japan, arriving in October 1951. Keeping this little gold piece with we all the time.

I had never seen so many people in my whole life! They were crowded so closely together that only the black hair of their heads was visible, bobbing up and down as they moved down the subway stairs below me like crowded corks rising and falling an a restless Sea. Cautiously I stepped into the stream of people and moved toward my train.

I moved whether I wished to or not. Indeed, it was impossible not to move! The crest of the wave carried me with the throng. I realized that if I dropped anything valuable it would be impossible to pick it up. There were too many people pressed around me.

I gave my ticket to the attendant at the ticket barrier and was hustled along toward my train. Uniformed Japanese men with white gloves were pushing people into the railway cars. They were “back pushers,” employed by the thousands in Japan to push people into the trains as tightly as possible, until the train doors can barely squeeze closed behind the last passenger. In some places there are first aid stations set up near the trains, to treat passengers who become injured or get bones broken in the crush of people.

It looked most rude to me but I didn’t have time to deliberate very long, for suddenly I felt two strong hands on my back and I was practically lifted into the train and jammed into its occupants. People all around were staring at me, the eyes of the ones facing me barely six inches away. I was thoroughly miserable, so self-conscious I could hardly bear it! I tried to reach into my pocket for a handkerchief to wipe my forehead, but it was impossible. I was packed in so tightly that if I ever got my hand into my pocket I’d not be able to yet it out again.

I learned to dread riding in these trains. One day after boarding a train I was foolish enough to lift one foot to got my balance as the train started. But when I tried to put it down again there was no room and I had to stand on one leg the rest of the way. At such moments I longed fur the lonely Kalahari Desert!

Peggy Davey’s cheeks were pink from excitement as well as from the cold wind. How wonderful to be in Japan at last! From the moment she stepped on Japanese soil that January 1st, 1952, she loved everything about it. Tokyo reminded her of London with its traffic, many shops, and crowds of people coming and going; Besides, this was Japan’s most important holiday with everyone in a festive mood. New Year’s Day is the only time when every place of business is closed. The flag of the Rising Sun was flying in front of nearly every Japanese home, fluttering in the strong east wind. It seemed as if all Japan was celebrating Peggy’s arrival.

She had just recently graduated from Bible College in London, had come to Japan as a missionary under the Japan Evangelistic Band, and was on her way to the mission headquarters in Kobe. She was not the least bothered by all the people around her on the train staring at this strange foreigner.

Peggy had grown up in bustling, crowded London, living with her mother as an only child, for her father had died when she was quite young. Although the family had been nominal members of the Church of England, she never attended Sunday School and only entered a church five or six times before her twenty-second year.

But though the church held little attraction for her, this did not prevent an inner hunger, a longing for something more than life as she saw it, for in her teens she penned these haunting lines:
How can it be upon this sinful earth
That I shall see my God, and know His worth,
Where men like bees that swarm a human hive
Do all they can to keep themselves alive?
For what, what pleasure do they thus obtain;
Is there not less of happiness than pain?

What is freedom, shall we know that in death?
Oh that I soon may lose my mortal breath
Oh yet while I am young. For there must be
A dread of death in age, it seems to me,
To die in youth is sudden, unexpected,
No memories to dwell on, recollected.
Only the eagerness to keep one’s life,
Unconscious of the ceaseless round of strife
That daunts all nature everlastingly.
Twenty-two year old Peggy had worked in the Board of Trade of the Civil Service in London during the war years. A Christian friend in the same office invited her one day to go along to some special evangelistic meetings in Streatham, London, and she agreed.

After the second meeting, Peggy stood alone on the platform waiting for the train from Streatham to her home in Herne Hill, with the recognition slowly dawning in her heart that the Voice of God was speaking to her. Though she had not paid much attention to tile message and could not recall any details, for the first time in her life she was vividly conscious of the Living God.

The vital awareness of His Presence remained with her as she stepped on the train, as she journeyed the thirty minutes home, as she walked to her home and up to her room.

There she knelt down beside her bed and opened her heart to the Lord. She did not even know why, except that He had become so real and was drawing her to Himself. She had no consciousness of sin–though that came later. She only knew she had found salvation, for complete assurance immediately followed her simple prayer.

In her usual efficient manner she at once began to talk to her friends at work about Jesus, full of the joy of her newly found Lord. Soon she discovered that an old school friend who worked in another part of the Civil Service had been praying for her for a long time. This encouraged her own efforts to pray for and witness to those around her. Before long she found some who were interested, helped form a Christian Fellowship, and was appointed its first Secretary. In her eagerness to gain more knowledge of the Bible and related subjects she began attending lectures in the evenings at the London Bible College.

Before long Peggy began to realize that she was spending so much of her office time talking to this one and that one about the Lord that it wasn’t right. Wasn’t she supposed to be working during this time? This dilemma gave her an increasing burden to leave this job and get into full-time Christian service, so that finally she resigned from the Civil Service and entered the Mount Harmon Missionary Training College.

Peggy was increasingly aware that God was calling her to the mission field for the full-time service she longed for. “Is it China, Lord?” she prayed, “I’ll apply to the China Inland Mission if You want me to.”

One day in June, 1948, with her Bible open before the Lord, He confirmed her call to the East through Ezekiel 40:3, “When He brought me there I saw a man whose appearance was like brass.” People the color of brass – and God was going to take her there! She turned the pages and God unexpectedly spoke again, through Ezekiel 47:3-5, “He went forth eastward–and He brought me through the waters.” Across the oceans, to the East-China!

“Not one to waste time, Peggy immediately applied to the China Inland Mission and to her great surprise was refused. Not only that, but just about this time China was completely closed to the Gospel. Now she was really thrown back on the Lord for further guidance. Gently lie turned her heart toward Japan. Soon she learned of the Japan Evangelistic Band, an interdenominational, international group of missionaries which was involved in country evangelism there. She applied and was accepted.

Peggy finished her Bible training, spent six months in practical evangelistic work with the Faith Mission of Northern Ireland, and then sailed for Japan in September, 1951.

When she arrived in Kobe, Japan, after the train ride from Tokyo, she learned that another new arrival at the mission headquarters was a young lady from the United States. Three days later at a mission prayer meeting she met two other recent appointees who lived in a nearby missionary’s home, young men who were in the language school she was to attend for two years of language study. As these young people knelt in prayer together before the Lord in this new land they had come to serve, Peggy made another discovery. When one of the young men prayed, his English had a most delightful accent–Afrikaans!

Peggy had not been in Japan many weeks before she became aware of a growing attraction for this young man from South Africa. She was deeply concerned, for she had had a disappointment in love in England in previous years, and was afraid of repeating its pain. “Lord, You know I only want what you want for me,” she prayed one day. “You know I’m completely trusting You to lead me right,, Please give me a word about Neil one way or the other–.”

Opening a daily devotional book she was using at the time she turned to the passage for that day, April 18th. There before her startled eyes stood out the words, “He shall bring it to pass!” (Psalm 37:5.) Peggy knew this was God’s word for her. Peace filled her heart and quieted her thoughts, although as yet she had no indication of what my feelings toward her might be.

One fall day several months later Peggy sat in the lounge of the mission headquarters reading an article and weighing its words. It said that God is always ready to accept from a woman her right to get married, and that this right should be placed on the altar for Him. Just at that moment I entered the room! I chatted with her for a few moments about nothing in particular, and when I went out again Peggy silently prayed, “Is this what you want of me, Lord?–to lay Neil on the altar, to give up all thoughts of ever marrying at all?”

Immediately the words leaped into her mind, “To obey is better than sacrifice'” God was not asking this sacrifice of her! It was indeed His will for her to marry me and she had only to obey Him. Once again peace came.

There were eighty missionaries in the language school for its two years of intensive training. Many others all over the country were desperately struggling to learn this difficult language. The new appointees with the Band kept pace with the others. It was perhaps a little simpler for Peggy than for me. I could not learn Japanese from my native Afrikaans, but had to go through the medium of a second language, English.

Evangelistic opportunities for mission appointees began long before language school was completed, for we helped in the Gospel Mission Hall and conducted English Bible classes in the university. But the burden to learn the language was all important.

I made many mistakes. One day I was trying to take a picture of some Japanese friends and was having difficulty getting them to smile. I tried to say, “please smile”- waratte kudasai, but instead I said aratte kudasai–“please wash yourself.” I got the smiles all right!

Missionaries in a foreign country are like little babies, knowing nothing, and it takes quite some time to become “adults” in the customs and language. After studying Japanese for almost eighteen months I was able to use. little sentences. I wrote out a few three to five minute talks to give on Saturday nights at the Mission Hall, and one night prayed my first extemporaneous Japanese prayer, writing home to my friends about it: I did not inquire whether my Japanese friends understood me, but this I know, God understood my broken Japanese. I am still muttering like a child; sometimes others understand, sometimes they do not, but praise God, there is noted progress because you are praying for me. Very soon now, others are going to know about Jesus from, me in their own tongue …

By this time I had also made an astonishing discovery. I was in love with Peggy! It was most disconcerting that such a thing could happen to me when I had told the Lord I was through with women! When I realized that Peggy was also in love with me my conflict increased, for the mission frowned upon romantic attachments during the training years. The pain of our being secretly in love was deeply troubling and we dare not make a mistake.

I finally wrote Peggy saying it would be better to break off our relationship for good, but on June 6, 1953 I received a reply from her adapted to the words, “Blest be the tie that binds Our hearts in Christian love Åc

A few days later God spoke to Peggy again through the words of Ruth 3:18: “Daughter, sit still until you learn how the matter will fall, for the man will not rest, until he has settled the matter.”

And indeed, I could not rest! Day and night I searched for the Lord’s will. One day I discovered George Mueller’s pattern for finding God’s guidance and I determined to follow it. John Wesley’s advice also impressed me deeply: “Take no step toward marriage without solemn prayer to God and consulting your brethren.”

I came to the conclusion that as soon as possible I should pray the matter through. I spent a whole night in prayer but was still not at peace. A week later, after another night in prayer without assurance one way or the other, I determined to take time off from language study and fast and pray until God’s answer came. I approached the mission leader for approval and it was given. How long will You forget me, O Lord? for ever? How long will You hide Your face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart?…. But I have trusted in Your mercy, My heart will rejoice in Your salvation …. with these words of Psalm 13 I began my prayer vigil. Day after day I spent all my time crying to the Lord and reading passage after passage of Scripture for a personal word concerning Peggy, without response. But on the sixth morning of my fast the Lord encouraged me to know that my suffering was not being wasted: “No chastening for the present is joyous, but painful; yet afterwards it yields peaceful fruit.” And then I read: “…it came to pass after ten days, that the word of the Lord came to Jeremiah…”

“Ten days, Lord! Must I wait so long?” My heart cried, but I knew I must. After three days of fasting the desire for food leaves, but not until after seven days does all sexual desire leave. I was willing to pass the point of all natural attraction to Peggy, so that my prayers would not be biased.

On the eighth day of my fast I read Psalm 105 through tears: “He was laid in iron chains until the word of the Lord came. The word of the Lord tried him!” I was thoroughly exhausted, weak and unhappy when the ninth day arrived, for I had eaten nothing, had had only water to drink, and still no guidance had come. Dejectedly I picked up my diary and scrawled the record of the day, “Bible like a closed book, heavens like copper, very discouraged and wept in desperation.”

The tenth day dawned, just two months to a day from the time I had first told Peggy how I felt about her. I picked up my Bible and read Jeremiah 42:7 again: “It came to pass after ten days that the word of the Lord came….”

“Lord,” I pleaded, “for ten days I’ve been waiting for You to speak. I believe that You will speak to me today, just as definitely as you spoke to Jeremiah!” Deliberately I picked up the hymn book and sang a, hymn of praise, and then turned to Isaiah 55:8-13 to read and meditate in praise before the Lord:

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Neither are My ways your ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher that the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts … For you shall go out with joy, And be led forth with peace. The mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, And all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.

Instead of the thorn shall come up the fir tree, And instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree. It shall be to the Lord for a name, for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.”

Suddenly I knew. I knew! I had been searching for some verse to stand on, but now I did not need it. I knew, without a shadow of doubt, for God’s Spirit was bearing witness with my spirit that He had prepared Peggy for me. Hallelujah!

For two more days I continued fasting, but now it was in praise to a wonderful God. After twelve days I had some orange juice, increased my juice drinking for a few days and then began taking light meals. Ten days after ending my fast I was still ten pounds below my normal weight-but it had been worth it. I knew!